At the moment my kitchen is covered in what very well could be alien baby vomit. Or you would be forgiven for believing so. Its actually the makings of blueberry ice cream that went wildly wrong, my largest most colorful cooking disaster to date.

Its in the refrigerator thinking about what its done for now. If I put it in the ice cream maker and it turns out delicious I will forgive Dorie Greenspan and this evil recipe and tell you all about it later. If it doesnt turn out I may not be speaking to my purple stained kitchen for a bit we both may need a couple days to think about what we want out of our relationship after this argument.

So rather than typing up a recipe and instructions and boring you with another salad, Im going to instead keep it basic. Lets talk about the two hardest things to get used to when eating the Montignac way: sugar and carb substitutes. A little primer of what you should and shouldnt eat and how to substitute in things like almond flour or agave nectar in your favorite recipes that call for plain old flour and sugar. This will also be something you can point your friends and family towards when they ask for the millionth time “well, what can you eat?” if they are kind enough to try to want to cook for you while youre on this adventure.

Sweet stuff first. What sugar substitutes can I eat on the Montignac Method?

The only two sugar substitutes that wont spike your blood sugar and freak out your pancreas into storing fat are fructose and agave nectar. Montignac insists on fructose only but hes an old French fuddy duddy that doesnt believe in dessert so were going to mostly ignore him on this issue and concentrate on what actually works.

Fructose is what happens when you split a sugar molecule in half and isnt to be confused with high fructose corn syrup which is bad, bad, bad. Its a good substitute for when youre baking things like quick bread or cookies where you dont want to mess with the ratio of liquids or when you just need a pinch of sweetness in savory dish or sauce. One warning though, it doesnt act like sugar so it wont make yeast bread or soufflé and torte type things rise.

Agave nectar comes from the same plant that tequila does so it has some of the same tart fruitiness of a good tequila that adds richness to your cooking. There is some research that points towards it negatively affecting triglyceride levels however so if youre dealing with cholesterol issues you will want to take it easy with the agave nectar. Its best to use as a honey, brown sugar, or molasses substitute and will work in pretty well in anything else if you make sure to lessen some of the other liquids in the recipe.

Brown rice syrup also technically works in a pinch. Ive never cooked with it personally as the price makes it not something Im likely to experiment with. However it is relatively kind on the blood sugar so when it shows up in pre-made sweets or a sweetener in organic type cough drops and such it is alright on occasion.

How do you use these in recipes?

1 cup of sugar = 1/3 cup fructose
1 cup honey or molasses = 1 scant cup agave nectar
1 cup brown or raw sugar = 1 scant cup agave nectar and a couple tablespoons extra dry ingredients

Carbs get a little more complicated.

Except for the very high fiber whole grain bread you have for breakfast there is absolutely wheat or gluten free substitute flour (sorghum, teff, rice, tapioca) allowed. There is also no corn meal allowed. Nut and bean flours are your only options. This involves researching a lot of flourless recipes to find substitutes as there is no easy way to just swap out almond flour for white flour in a recipe and end up with anything you want to eat.

Gluten free, raw food, vegan, Specific Carbohydrate Diet, and Anti-Candida recipes are your friend. These are all people that are often in the same boat carb and sweetener wise and have worked out clever substitutes for your favorite foods. When youre missing something like naan or pancakes use your google-fu to find someone else who missed enough to make up a flourless or low carb recipe. Theres usually a way to make it work so that the urge to eat something you miss doesnt make you tempted to break the diet.

Straight to Bed, Diet Desserts and Dogs and 101 Cookbooks are all good blogs to start your search for carb friendly goodies in. To make life even easier on you here is a list of recipes Ive written about that are healthy substitutes for something not allowed on the diet.

Put simply what is allowed? What carbs or carb substitutes can I eat on the Montignac Method?

Almond and most other nut flours (naan, pancakes, pizza crust, fruit crumble)
Ground flax seed (peanut butter cookies)
Bean flours (savory appetizer base)
Canned beans (black bean brownies, chick pea brownies)
Brown and wild rice (vegetable burgers to be eaten only in low fat/high carb recipes)
Xanthan gum and arrowroot (lower GI thickeners to use only if absolutely necessary)
Baking soda and cream of tarter (alternative to baking powder)
Cauliflower (faux potatoes)
Pistachios or hazelnuts (use to encrust meats instead of flour)
Shredded squash (flourless breads, pancakes, or faux pasta)
Raw squash (a base for things like bruschetta you would usually put on baguettes)
Raw Vegetables (for dipping in tapenades and dips instead of bread and chips)
Whole wheat pasta (only in very low fat/high carb recipes)
Dried beans and lentils
Quinoa (oatmeal alternative, couscous substitute)
Oatmeal
Soy Vermicelli (only in low fat/high carb recipes)
Sugarfree chocolate (cocoa powder or baking chocolate in cakes and other flourless desserts)
Whole Grain or Rye Bread (for breakfast only)

That should give you a good idea at least. If there is something youre desperate for leave me a comment and Ill try to point you towards a substitute you can eat.

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This is the second night in a row that weve eaten something that just didnt do it for me. Its starting to make me despair and wonder where I went wrong figuring out the menu for this week. The fella had to convince me that not liking dinner wasnt an excuse not to write and share the recipes with the world. Perhaps someone else will love something I hated and who am I not to post the recipes for other people. Besides everyone has cooking failures, it would be dishonest not the show the bad along with the good. The fella is a very wise person. So here I am to tell you about another dinner I didnt like.

In this meals defense after typing out the recipe I dont think I did it properly. The pan wasnt heating up and I was impatient so I ended up with soft thoroughly cooked chicken with no browning. Then of course the pan was too hot and the spices got over heated. Next the yogurt curdled halfway when I thought the heat was low enough to add it. This made the chicken taste unpleasantly like baby spit up and had the fella wondering what Im eating when hes not around given that I could recognize that flavor.

Without the yogurt incident this probably would have been a completely different dish. I cant tell whether it is supposed to be saucy or creamy. Mine turned out a thick sauce with tiny curdles. Even so the fella loved it and would have eaten the entire thing if I hadnt restrained him and pointed him towards a lonely apple in order to jealously guard my portion of left overs for tomorrow. Maybe Im too hard on my cooking and it was better than I realized. Im just glad the fella is enjoying these dinners, someone should.

There were high points to the meal like the perfectly steamed asparagus we had on the side and the Washington Hills Gewürztraminer we drank with the meal. The wine wasnt anything special on its own, very light and drinkable but missing the spicy profile that a Gewürztraminer should have. With the slightly spice chicken however it really popped and showed sweetness and tropical fruit that I wasnt tasting while drinking it alone. Not too bad for a cheap wine sitting in the impulse buy case stacks at Whole Foods.

Cardamom Chicken

1 pound chicken breasts, cut in bite size pieces
2 tablespoons oil

1 onion, thinly sliced
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 tablespoon grated ginger

1 teaspoon cardamom
1/2 teaspoon ground fennel
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
4 whole cloves
1 2-inch piece cinnamon stick

1/2 cup plain yogurt
cilantro, to garnish

Heat skillet over medium high heat and add 1 tablespoon of the oil. Season the chicken pieces with salt and pepper then cook until browned lightly on all sides, about 5 minutes. Remove from skillet and set aside.

Add the remaining tablespoon of oil and saute onion, garlic, and ginger for about 3 minutes or until the onion is tender. Add the spices and lower heat, toasting for about 2 minutes, stirring constantly.

Reduce the heat further to low. Add the yogurt and slowly bring to a simmer, stirring the entire time. Do not boil.

Return chicken to the skillet and coat well with spice mixture. Cover and cook for about 10 minutes or until chicken is tender and cooked through. Garnish with cilantro.

Original recipe from 30-Minute Asian Meals by Marie Wilson.

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Photo by Steve Apps of The State Journal.

This bread is a cover model.  Seriously, it was all over the local paper on Friday.  

I had no idea when the article was going to be printed so I didnt get a chance to warn people to keep an eye out for it.  So in the ennui filled late hours of the afternoon when they were both probably hiding from work in separate break rooms both the fella and my friend Tim texted me nearly the same sarcastic message.  "Theres a great article on going gluten free in the paper you should look at."  

And there I was in the paper.  Well not technically me, more like my bread.  Even Lindsay who wrote the article isnt sure why there are three pictures of bread and no pictures of me in  the print article.  I guess the bread was just more photogenic than me.  Le sigh.  Given how great the pictures of my baking came out Im thrilled they got all that attention though.

This loaf doesnt technically fit in with the French Diet considering the higher GI flours and the bananas but for the weight maintenance phase it would be a nice breakfast bread.  The diet aside, this bread is surprisingly good,  I made it and even I was blown away.  

The fella had this great recipe for a banana cardamon loaf he used to make when we were first dating so when I needed an idea for another bread recipe I decided to use that recipe to reverse engineer it into a gluten free version.  And it worked out really nice.  Gluten free it isnt quite as fluffy but since its a desserty bread it doesnt interfere with the enjoyment of it at all.  Smeared with a little honey the fella and I really enjoyed nibbling on it with Lindsay and her fella literally seconds after the photographer got done with it.  It smelled that good we couldnt resist any longer.

Gluten Free Banana Cardamom Bread

2/3 cup warm water (temperature around 110 is best)
1 teaspoon yeast
1 generous pinch of sugar

3 cups Bob Red Mill Baking and Biscuit Flour blend
1/2 cup ground flax seed
1 tablespoon ground cardamom
1 teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons honey or agave nectar
2 very ripe bananas well mashed

arrowroot or tapioca starch to flour work surfaces
1 teaspoon sesame seeds

Put the warm water in a small bowl.  Whisk in the yeast and sugar and let stand about 10 minutes or until it turns bubbly.  If the water doesnt become frothy it means the yeast isnt active and you need new yeast or the water was too hot or cold to activate it so try again.

Stir together the dry ingredients in a mixing bowl.  When well combined add in the yeasty water, honey, and bananas.  Gradually incorporate the mix into a soft dough with a wooden spoon and your fingers, adding a little more water if necessary to get a dough like consistency that isnt too dry and crumbly. 

Dust a cutting board or very clean counter with arrowroot or tapioca starch (you dont want to add anymore flour to the dough, you want to use a sticky starch that wont dry out the bread for this purpose).  Knead the dough for a minute or so until it is sticky and well combined.  Return it to the bowl and cover with a damp dish towel to allow to rise for about 2 hours or until the dough has doubled in size.

After it has risen, remove the dough from the bowl back to the dusted work surface and divide into three equal pieces.  Roll each piece into a short fat oblong shape and braid the three together.  Place the dough on a greased baking sheet and loosely cover with plastic wrap.  Let stand until it rises a little bit again.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.  Brush the dough with a bit of water and then sprinkle with sesame seeds.  Bake for 10 minutes then lower temperature of oven to 400 degrees.  Cook for a further 15 minutes or until the loaf is browned and sounds hollow when tapped.

This will be a very dense dessert like loaf of bread and is best served with a little honey or raspberry jam.  Store in a tightly sealed container in the refrigerator. 

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