This morning Im just feeling exhausted. And hungry! I had 1 whole egg scrambled with 3 Tbsp of egg whites and 2 slices of Canadian bacon for breakfast and I feel like Im starving. This is the first day where Ive felt truly deprived.... of food, of energy, of sleep, of my sanity.
I broke down & cried this morning because I didnt have any missed calls on my cell phone last night. Thats nothing unusual for me. My phone doesnt get a lot of use but for some reason this morning it made me feel lonely. My emotions are clearly at their breaking point.
Last night didnt help. I made an absolutely delicious salmon fillet for Valentines day dinner but I could only eat 2 oz of it. Do you know what 2 oz of salmon looks like? Apparently, neither did I. The first slice I cut for myself was double that. 2 oz of salmon looks like that chunk of bread you leave till the end of your meal to sop up all the good sauce/juices that are left on the plate. It doesnt look or feel like a meal, I can tell you that much.
On a less cranky note... Im really glad to see that a couple of you commented on my first post. It feels good to know that there are people out there rooting for me, even when I havent got the energy or stamina to cheer myself on. So, thank you for that! I really needed to see those words of encouragement this morning.
Hopefully my 11am fat free vanilla Greek yogurt will perk me up.
Oh! And in 2 days I should be receiving in the mail my new copy of Wii Zumba 2. Its a fitness game. Ive never done Zumba so Im kind of excited to try it out after I get the go ahead on Saturday to start adding some activity into my routine. Maybe the exercise and addition of veggies will help my energy levels.
Tonights dinner? A veggie burger. And then some edamame as a snack after. Those are almost like eating something other than rolled up slices of deli chicken!
Now if I could just manage to stop getting up to pee 2-3 times in the middle of the night and dreaming about ghosts because of wearing a nicotine patch to bed, I might actually get some decent sleep & feel better about all of this.
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